


“You didn’t know shit.” - 15x20 fix it

by wikiangela



Category: Supernatural
Genre: But whatever, Castiel and Dean Winchester Reunion in Heaven, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I'm Sorry, M/M, i just need fluff, it didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, it's so bad, it's stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wikiangela/pseuds/wikiangela
Summary: Dean and Cas reunite in Heaven, because reading fix-it fics wasn't enough and I needed to write my own :)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 3
Kudos: 95





	“You didn’t know shit.” - 15x20 fix it

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, this was just an idea of Cas being really annoyed that Dean died after Cas sacrificed himself for him.  
> It didn't turn out at all how I wanted it too. And the beginning is kinda awkward because I added it later lol  
> I wasn't even gonna post it, but why not, right? Hah, enjoy, I guess ♥

“Cas helped.” 

Those words echoed through his head. He didn’t understand… Cas was dead, wasn’t he? Did Jack bring him back? What was going on?

“Cas is here?” he asked, cursing himself for the hope in his voice. Bobby smiled, taking a sip of his beer. “How? Where is he?” just then he heard a rustling of wings behind him. And Dean knew it was him. It had to be.

“I’ll see ya, kid.” Bobby said before standing up and walking away, obviously trying to give them time to talk.

Dean took a deep breath, but his heart was racing. He turned his head in the direction opposite to where he was looking at Bobby. And he saw him, just standing there and looking at him. 

“Cas.” Dean said, standing up, and his lips immediately formed a smile. He was relieved to see him again. He thought he would never have a chance to see him, talk to him… and here he was.

But Cas’ expression was not what Dean expected, not after what happened just before Cas died. There was some kind of fondness in his eyes, but mostly he just seemed annoyed.

“Uh, Cas? You okay?” Dean added, when the angel didn’t say anything. Then, Cas sighed.

“What are you doing here, Dean?” he sounded even more annoyed than he looked.

“I… died?” Dean answered, frowning in confusion, although it came out more as a question. This wasn’t how he imagined reuniting with his angel. “I died, and I’m in Heaven. What-?”

“You died.” Cas interrupted whatever Dean was going to ask. “You died.” he repeated, exasperated. “ _I_ died and got stuck in the Empty for you, so that you could live, and then immediately after that you just went and died?” he raised his eyebrows. Now Dean felt bad. He didn’t even think about it that way. 

“Well, you’re here now.” Dean attempted a smile. “And if it makes you feel any better, it was not a glorious, guns blazing death. It was rather pathetic.” he chuckled. “And it’s not like I wanted to die, so don’t give me shit for that. You chose to be stupid and sacrifice yourself for me.” now he was getting irritated, because that was what his relationship with Cas usually looked like and he secretly loved it. All the irritation and bickering.

“I don’t think it was stupid. It was worth it.” Cas said, quieter. “You should know that you were worth it, Dean."

“Yeah, well, you said your peace back then. So now it’s my turn.” Dean said before Cas had a chance to repeat his speech or whatever he was about to say. “That was so unfair.” he started, taking a step towards Cas. “You can’t just say all those stuff just to die afterwards! I barely had time to process what was happening.” 

“I needed to summon the Empty. Sorry if the timing was inconvenient for you.” Cas rolled his eyes, and that almost made Dean smile. 

“Were you planning on ever telling me, then? Or would you just keep it to yourself until I died?” there was a bitterness in Dean’s voice and Cas seemed taken aback by it. But Dean needed to know, even if he sidetracked a bit from what he wanted to say. “Cas?” he added, when Cas didn’t answer.

“No. I never intended to tell you, because I knew it could ruin our friendship.” Cas said slowly, as if thinking carefully of every word.

“You _knew…_ ” Dean scoffed. “You didn’t know shit.” he said a little aggressively. “Just like you think that you couldn’t have what you wanted. You’re an idiot.” Cas opened his mouth to answer, but Dean quickly started talking again. “But I guess I am, too. I’m not good at this shit, Cas. This will not be as good as what you said. But I need to tell you. You know, when you showed up in my life, you turned it upside down. And it wasn’t just the angel thing or the Apocalypse, and all that shit. It was you.” he couldn’t help the small smile. “I started questioning everything. About me, about my life… You changed me, too, Cas. Completely. But I tried to repress all the feelings. I hid them as deep as I could. Until Purgatory.” he looked Cas in the eyes and saw the moment Cas understood where he was going with this. “Purgatory was when I realized. But then there was another problem. I thought...” he chuckled. “I was never sure if angels can, uh, feel the way humans do. I knew there was something there. But-”

“But you thought I can never feel exactly how you do, because I’m not human.” Cas interrupted. Dean nodded, lowering his gaze to the ground. “In a sense you were right. Normally, angels don’t feel human emotions.”

“But you do, huh?” Dean smirked, now feeling stupid for not realizing it earlier. “Because you’re no ordinary angel.” Cas shrugged, with a helpless little smile. Dean took another few steps closer. “You’re a Winchester. And we never play by the book.” at that, Castiel’s smile grew wider and his expression softened even more. “Cas, every time you leave me, I- I can’t function. I can’t breathe without you. So even though I’m dead now, I’m happy, because you’re here and nothing can tear us apart now.” he grabbed Castiel by the lapel of his coat. “And just to be clear, because you’re a dumbass, I love you, too.” his voice shook a little at those last words. Ironically, he felt like he was going to die in that moment. His heart was racing, as if it was about to jump out of his chest, and he felt dizzy. 

“I’m still mad that you died. How long was it? A week? A day?” Cas asked teasingly, as Dean’s face was getting closer to his.

“Don’t be a smartass.” Dean said into Cas’ lips, as he kissed him for the first time. He would never say it out loud, but he could literally see and hear fireworks as their lips touched. And maybe he could? Who knew how Heaven worked, right? He immediately knew that this, kissing Cas, would forever be his favorite thing.

“Just so you know.” Cas pulled away. “I don’t regret dying for you. But I just wanted you to live a full, happy life before you came here.”

“What kind of life would it be without you?” Dean asked softly, and looked into his blue eyes and saw something he’d never seen there before. Pure happiness. And he felt proud that he was the cause of that.

“Dean.” Cas said quietly and smiled. Dean glanced at his Baby, just standing there, then back at Cas.

“C’mon, why don’t we go for a drive?” he asked. “And we can talk and catch up.” he intertwined their fingers. When Cas nodded, Dean pulled him towards the car.

As they drove, holding hands, filling each other up on what happened to each of them since they were separated, Dean was content and happy. And in love, which was weird to finally admit. And the rest of eternity seemed promising and blissful, now that Cas was with him. Cas was all he needed.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, that whole speech that Dean gave that is probably really bad and awkward, was not supposed to be there. But it happened and I didn't feel like changing it. So... it's shit (I probably use the word 'shit' too much as I realized writing this XD)
> 
> But thank you for reading ♥


End file.
